Thread: poly imposter?
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Old 05-30-2011, 01:11 AM
jenniferjuniper jenniferjuniper is offline
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Oakland, CA
Posts: 3
Unhappy poly imposter?

I am pretty confused at the moment and could use some advice. I was in a relationship with a man for a little over a year who I thought was open to the us pursuing an open relationship at some point as he is much older than I am. I often tried to broach the subject to get him to open up about what would interest him should the opportunity present itself but he seemed to shy away from frank discussion. I thought maybe it was just too early in the relationship for it to be a pressing issue. He'd just started a new, very demanding job.

But last week he told me he had met someone a couple of weeks back whom he has feelings for and wants to explore things with. He told me he wanted to break up. Then he told me he still loves me, is attracted to me, etc. etc. I admit I flipped out because it was very unexpected, abrupt, and I'd been having a tough week- I had a tight deadline to get a couple of major projects done. Not good timing.

Since that night he's emailed me just about everyday but won't discuss the other relationship with me. Is this a case of someone being manipulative? I would have been happy to bring other people into the relationship if he had been honest and direct with me about it, and considerate. But his actions seem to me kind of sneaky and selfish. I felt ambushed. Am I overreacting?

He also said he is beginning therapy to deal with all the stress of work and now this. He wants to talk to me on Tuesday. I'm thinking maybe I should move on given the huge failure in communication and that he has never been in a relationship that lasted longer than 5 years. What do you guys think?
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