Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG
Just ask him those very questions. Simple and plain. I know a bit of his perspective as far as not wanting to hurt your husband. That in it's self is a very good sign. I am a firm believer that a secondary has to care for both partners and hold the primaries above everything else.
He's got a lot going through his head..maybe even trying to decide if he is poly capable as well.
Just ask him, vagueness is tiring and a waste of energy IMHO
I like being direct too, but I don't want to bombard him with questions he may not know the answers to yet. He's out of town, and will be back in two days. I think if he doesn't talk to me by Thursday, I'll have to ask him if we're done discussing any more poly stuff, and go on as if I never said anything, point blank.
He claims my husband is the luckiest man in the world, and he wishes I had a twin sister! But I think I read it elsewhere that he is what is called a "conditioned mono," and whatever he feels for me, he just can't ever go there.
Thank you for replying. It feels good to have some guidance.