Thread: Lonely Unicorn
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Old 05-28-2011, 01:41 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Perhaps what you've experienced is envy more than jealousy. It sounds like you were envious of the time she got to spend with him, which you felt unfair for some reason?
I don't know, Cindie. It was her first try at sharing her bf and 5 hours can seem really long if you were expecting a 3 hour date at most. This is a boundary that can be discussed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Also, what you're describing doesn't actually sound like polyamory to me. You sound like you're both just looking for someone to have sex with your boyfriend once a week, rather than attempting to develop multiple loving relationships.
Well, she did say she wants to become friends with the new woman. The guy wants sex, sure, but maybe he is not averse to feeling feelings as well! Emotions, not just orgasms, I mean.
You're right. I agree that the 3 hours vs. 5 hours issue is something they need to discuss and agree to boundaries on. Well, if it hadn't happened the way it did, eezeegoing and her bf wouldn't know what they need to discuss next. I think my response sounded harsh, which I didn't intend. I was just caught by how it sounded to me like, "we decided to bring in another woman once a week to service my boyfriend, and I'll get a friend, too." But there really wasn't enough info about the situation to draw any kind of conclusion. I think I've been influenced by seeing a lot of posts here lately from people who say they want poly but seem to be really focused more on recreational sex than developing relationships. Perhaps it's not how eezeegoing views how they are approaching poly; however, it certainly is in line with the OP's reason for beginning this thread.

Ah, human relationships can be so complex, even when we think it should be so simple!
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 05-28-2011 at 01:45 PM.
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