Thanks for the feedback! Anneintherain, you bring up an excellent point. I am just assuming that the old boyfriend and his girlfriend agreed to date as a couple only, but I have no way of knowing this. He might be just fine with her contacting me individually. I think I'll seek clarification, because I am happy to see them either as a couple, or each individually. We have a nice synergy in any combination. The distance is really the biggest factor. They are working on planning a vacation to my area, and I am signing up for a notification service to let me know when fares to their area are cheap.
redpepper, you are right. Patience is required here, and I can't expect everything to be sorted and settled after a mere two months of this. I guess I am gauging things by the immediate success of my husband. I will try to seek out a local polyamory group.
What I *have* found is that there are a lot of people in so-called "monogamous" relationships who think polyamorous folks are perfect cheating fodder. Yuck. No interest in cheating husbands, thank you very much!