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Old 05-26-2011, 04:43 PM
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Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Victoria BC
Posts: 1,603

Hi justjenni,
I wonder if your husband gets off on cheating and being less than honest with you. It seems to me like you've gone out of your way to encourage honesty with him and he continues to go behind your back to see other women. I'm also wondering how much he's into being a husband and father. I would be pissed if my husband blew off one of our kids' birthdays to hang out with friends or another partner.

He seems to be disrespectful of you. I realize that we only have your side of the story to go on but I'm having a hard time seeing the redeeming qualities in this relationship. It also seems like he wants everything his way all the time. Relationships aren't one sided. If you want some more freedom you should be able to negotiate that. I wonder if maybe he's projecting his lack of desire for you to see other people onto how he thinks you'll react to him having outside relationships.

I know that you were hoping to hear that things will get better. They might get better but it sounds to me that something has to change in the way you relate to each other. You might want to set some consequences on what you are willing to do if he is dishonest about his whereabouts or if he fails to be present during family events. And then you have to be willing to stick to the consequences. Why would he change his behaviour if there has never been any reason to? He's having his cake and eating it too.
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.
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