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Old 05-26-2011, 03:21 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
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Originally Posted by Beodude123 View Post
I think that was probably the start of the downfall, when it occurred to me that it wasn't me making her happy like that.
Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
I think what Beo is saying is he is having a hard time processing the difference in the way he feels about his wife and the way she feels about him. The "happiness thing " is just one example of the differences in their individual mind sets.
Dinged, I think you're a bit off. See the bolded part. It's not just a set of differences in feeling. Beo was feeling blue because he concluded that it was someone else making Jen happy (when she was with J.), and not him. That is why I posted my message about each of us being responsible for our own happiness, to which Mags added her perspective. When one pays credence to the idea that we should be the only ones "making" someone else happy (or that someone else should be making us happy), we naturally set ourselves up for disappointment. Happiness comes from within. Lots of things and people can augment it, inspire us, move us, but we can't be made to feel a specific feeling and it's not someone else's job to do that. People respond with feelings that originate within them. It is a good thing to have a partner that is moved and inspired by a variety of things and people because that means he or she is very alive.

Beo, I'm glad that you also said that you're feeling better and not getting angry right away or shutting her out. I know that was very painful for her as well. You will both get through this.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

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Last edited by nycindie; 05-26-2011 at 03:33 PM.
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