Thread: Filling A Gap
View Single Post
  #5  
Old 05-26-2011, 05:48 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,812
Default

Truthfully, he doesn't sound so wonderful to me. Why stay with someone whom you feel like shit to be around?

It is possible to have multiple relationships in which all of them are attracted to you and love being with you and treat you with respect. It's possible to be involved with more than one person in whose presence you feel good about being you. Why settle?

I don't think it's healthy AT ALL to use other people, in the name of polyamory, to fill in and prop you up in areas where it feels bad with one person. First of all, it's an unfair burden and expectation to put on that additional person. Why should they fix the holes in your life or relationships? It wouldn't work, anyway. It'd be like trying to put a cherry on top of a bowl of ice cream that someone already laid a turd on. No amount of cherries or whipped cream can cover up the fact that there's a turd in your ice cream.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 05-26-2011 at 01:10 PM.
Reply With Quote