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Old 05-25-2011, 08:22 AM
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Pooka Pooka is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Turkey
Posts: 17

so, after two weeks or something, things did not improve really but went crazy instead for some time. my girlfriend is heartbroken but still thinking about the guy very much, and although he seemed to tell his feelings are over and that he wants to be afriend he may be sending some misguiding signs. they are not together, he even behaves often cold towards her. they barely ever talk.

and the more important issue is about our own relationship. we really had some intense talks about her emotions and I discovered that I cannot stand, at this stage of my poly experience, to have her love someone as much as me. while going deeper into her emotional state during these talks, I finally heard her say she does not know which one of us she loves more, that she does not compare the two feelings. she only said that she loves me so much and does not ever want to break up with me but that she needed some space. she confessed she is thinking about him, maybe more often than me.

this statement plunged me into chaos. I am very heartbroken and although she behaves quite passionate towards me, I am in a depressive state of mind and try and act positive. I feel I can never get past that statement of hers, that she may not know her love towards me is stronger than any.

I really try my best, and I know what I do/feel is idiotic but I also know that I was not ready for such a situation, such a statement from her. we both try and behave understandingly to each other, and I feel her love.

I do not think I can stand to be anything than her primary as of my current state of consciousness, and I am very much hurt. I do not know what will happen, how much I can stand this; I feel trapped.
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