Originally Posted by AutumnalTone
Why should she want to hang out with your partner? I have little reason to hang out with my wife's friends and I certainly have no interest in joining her on any dates with other people. Likewise, I wouldn't want her along on any dates I have with somebody else.
I think this was related to the issues of "time". If there had been an interest/willingness to do things together there could have been more time spent with one another. When I was in a relationship with the male partner of an established poly couple, I spent time with the couple, family, etc. and really enjoyed it. But, I knew going in to the relationship that would be part of our life together as we all had busy lives. Unfortunately, even with that arrangement he decided it was too much of a stressor for him in terms of making time to spend together...as a couple and/or with the family. He ultimately said he wanted our relationship to be "fun" and not stressful, and that he wasn't able (I said "willing") to commit any time to me on a weekly basis. That would have placed me in a very secondary role which I NEVER wanted and had said so from the beginning. So, I ended it.