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Old 05-25-2011, 06:22 AM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Seattle-ish
Posts: 826

Certainly nothing wrong with saying the SO would like to meet you, but I really do think it is up to him to facilitate the meeting this early on.
I think it is weird to leave it up to you to initiate conversation. My husband and I have an agreement to meet people the other are dating if it is going to become something other than a couple of dates, but that is our job to make happen, not the people we are dating.
The guy I am dating - his wife wants to meet me (he met my husband over a month ago), I'd like to meet her, but she did not want to meet me with him there, so she's taken my email and the ball is in her court, I look forward to meeting her, but if he had told me it was my job to contact her and "make things happen" I think I may have bowed out of that, a hell of a lot of pressure for somebody you don't even know how you feel about yet (I am assuming).
Now if I had already met her socially, I would be more inclined to send a friendly message proactively, but I can't picture sending a total stranger a "thanks for letting me borrow your partner" email.
I have seen two schools of thought on this - people who don't want to meet their metamours unless it is "going somewhere" and people who want to meet them ASAP (which probably gets tiring if your SO dates a hell of a lot).
I would ask the BF if she really wants to meet me, and then probably take the steps to make it happen, but it seems like there is a bit of maturing to do, (as in I think the BF might have said "my gf would like to meet you, so I would like that if too, how can we make it happen?") although the first relationship is certainly going to be a big learning curve on communication.

Last edited by Anneintherain; 05-25-2011 at 06:54 AM.
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