Oh, I have been so giddy lately.
I think I'm really falling for the Nurse. I can't decide whether that's good or bad. On one hand, I'm enjoying all the elated, silly feelings I have. But, he's about a month out of a breakup and as of yet, we haven't actually talked about being more than play partners. So I don't want to be presumptuous. He's definitely not close at all to being over his ex.
On the other hand, I've been sleeping over at his house and cuddling all night, a few nights week, for the last couple of weeks. He'll do sweet things like hold my hand while we're sleeping or kiss me on the forehead. I feel like he may be interested in going further with it, but with out talking to him, it's hard to know. I'm so afraid that he's just using me as some one to cheer him up while he's got a broken heart. Or that maybe I'm reading too much into it. For some reason, I'm really nervous to ask. I guess, I'm really enjoying just hanging out and don't want to some how mess it up. Or that he'll think I'm silly for liking him as more than a play partner.
But I think I really, really like him. I didn't expect to. I was on the phone with one of my best friends and I finally admitted that I was totally smitten after I started rambling nonsensically about him. She was like, you're doing that thing, where you talk and you're really happy but you're not making any sense.
Recently, he and sinclair did a scene with me. It was pretty awesome. I haven't been able to get it out of my head and I definitely still have the bruises.
It was my first public scene and I got the most amazing endorphin rush afterwards.
And there's a girlie I'm considering! We're meeting for coffee soon. She's pretty young and in the kink scene. She's got a boyfriend and I think that we're just considering play/FWB kind of stuff. She's rather adorable. Squeee! So many fun things! Hopefully I can get up the cahones to talk to the Nurse about how I feel some time soon or I might burst!