Slow and steady wins the race?
I can't believe I haven't been on here before.
A few days ago, a poly couple brand new to us and fairly new to poly, came over for a meet-and-greet (and some wine and cheese, because why not). Amazingly lovely people, newly going through many of the things my husband and I have been challenged with for the past year (since starting to explore poly). They introduced me to the site. And now I wish I had all of you by my side for the past year.
I started the poly conversation, shortly after our 12th anniversary and before our daughter's first birthday. I honestly can't remember how I managed that first talk, except that I remember feeling that I needed to talk to my husband - my best friend - about all that I was feeling. He took it very well, and supported me in my exploration, as much as he himself wasn't thrilled at the idea of dating other people.
We thought we would be swingers for a while. But after several trips to the local adult clubs with very little interest in participating in the action, we realized that - as much fun as it was - the scene wasn't really for us (at this point and time, anyway).
So, since those interesting beginnings, I've been going on dates, made a few really amazing friends, and found myself (what turned out to be) a long term(ish) boyfriend.
After almost nine months of dating, we had sex last week. I told my husband who, once again, took it very very well. He said he was glad that I waited so long; that it made him feel quite secure in our relationship. On an aside (as I noticed mentioned by a few of you), this journey thus far has made us better communicators, better friends, better lovers, and definitely better partners. It has been a terrifying, thrilling, fascinating journey.