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Old 10-04-2009, 10:41 AM
HappiestManAlive HappiestManAlive is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Vegas, Baby!
Posts: 348
Default HMA/Violet's ongoing poly experience

OK, so between our intro posts and a few scattered posts around the site, a lot of what we have going on is here - but it's fragmented and we still get questions or people who thought we had something else or whatnot. So I'll put something in here and people can check it if they want to, lol.

Me - 34 year old straight guy. Norman Rockwell upbringing with a VERY large family. High functioning autistic who was perfectly happy in his little world until he made the basketball team (still don't know why I even tried out) in high school and had to learn to be social and "popular" - under threat of beatings from the jocks that had to be seen with me, lol. Anyway, learned to fake my way through life as a "normal" person, and I'm damned good at it now. Married a great girl at 24, went through some crap that split us up but did get a wonderful son out of it, now 5. Previous to this, I'd been a "serial monogamist" who couldn't figure out why his relationships always went bad, and why when I fell in love so completely and so hard I never felt fulfilled. Had my heart stomped on a few times to boot, became a "mostly" ethical slut for a while in there, then back to serial monogamy - had a steady girl before my wife and I were done splitting up, and caught a lot of flack for it. 4 1/2 years into that one, things were very rocky - see earlier statement - I loved this girl with all my heart but she never trusted me because of my "wandering eye", and we fought a LOT as a result. Enter Violet. I lilke strip clubs, always have - some people don't dig them, whatever - they're about teh same money as other clubs in a night in this town, the girls are already naked, and they at least acknowledge that they're after your money, lol. Anyway, this lovely dancer caught my eye, and long story short, she broke the cardinal rule about dating customers and we've been together for over 10 months now (breif period of us not dating as my previous relationship crashed and burned - so the serial behavior continues). Very early on, we talked a lot about how our views on relationships were very different from the norm. Specifically, not only was she okay with me seeing and even fucking other women, she encouraged it! As a result, I was completely faithful to her, lol. Let it suffice to say that our relationship, though odd and bearing a huge age gap, is the best either of us has ever had by a very, very wide margin - and the key since day 1 has been communication and brutal honesty. Moving on...

Violet - 20 year old bi girl. I'll not go into too much detail about either young lady as they will decide what to or not to post about themselves, but the basics should be okay... Adopted daughter brought up in a crazily dysfunctional family. Had a very bad thing happen to her at age 11 that left her deciding at a very young age that she was either going to hate men and all things sexual all her life, or look for a positive experience to offset what happened to her because she realized that other people liked this sex thing, so there must be something cool about it. The pendulum swung a bit far, and she basically became a raging slut for her teenage years. Don't freak out, she will take no offense whatsoever to that statement I promise, lol. Figured out before the bad thing that she liked girls, so this slut phase included both women and men, though she started identifying more and more as a lesbian. Married at 16 to a guy she never even slept with - I'll let her explain that one, divorced when he caught her fucking his best friend, who turned into a very bad long term relationship the death throes of which she was in when she met me. Yup - all the wrong signs and every red flag in the book for our start, lol. Controlling, manipulative men had been most of her experience, and loving but very difficult relationships with women - and she'd never been with a guy that let her date girls when they were together, either (something I have never understood, but I guess that's my natural poly-ness showing). We met, we were cautious about teh rebound factor, we;re still togther and surreally happy. Which brings us to...

Anne - 21 year old somewhat bi-curious girl. Anne comes from a very conservative background. Cheerleader type. Had a negative experience with an older guy at 16 that she got over but not without a few hangups. I met Anne through the ex I broke up with shortly after meeting Violet. They were very good friends from work, and when that girl left, she and I stayed - loosely - in touch. She'd dated one of my best friends briefly (who started dating my ex a few months after the breakup, hows that for Jerry Springer material?) and we've always got along, though we didn't know each other really well. She's always admitted after a couple of drinks that she liked girls, admitted that she liked them when sober but was very uncomfortable with that fact, and had never been with a girl or even kissed one. Came out of a long term relationship with a a guy that started out great, but got very controlling and things were pretty bad at the end. This left her a bit guarded and very sexually repressed. Started a long distance relationship with a guy she'd known before, our triad story starts with her talking to me over coffee and the occasional lunch about that relationship as it went through various phases.

So - those are the members of our group. Next, The Relationship story, and how sometimes unicorn hunting sometimes has very unexpected results!