Originally Posted by Purpurea
Could we polys honestly lead a mono relationship, just by not letting someone else physically as close? And would it be honest, if we didn't let someone else emotionally close, although we could in theory?
I think that this is, in fact, how most polys who have been in long-term monogamous relationships start out, and they struggle with it, along with feelings of guilt, shame, and "undeserving-ness" of the love of their partners, until they finally figure out that they are poly. At that point, we step onto the roller-coaster ride.
IOW, no, I don't think it works as a long-term strategy. The dam will break eventually--or the poly will.