Originally Posted by Squibby
=/ I am a terrible actor though! Haha, don't you think talking about polyamory like that would kind of be a bit obvious? ("Oh hey, did you know we're polyamorous? Oh, well it means etc etc - isn't that interesting? Just thought we'd happen to talk about it now at this moment...")
Eeb scary! Asking someone out - I agree, a daft exercise in awkwardness - was terrifying for me. Felt sick for about 3 days afterwards... That kind of method, being friends first and letting things progress from there, is quite a familiar one - it went that way with my first 'serious' boyfriend. However, in the case of my current bf, he has always been placed in the friend-zone before meeting me, and as a pair? I don't know that it won't be that way too.
Who says you have to ask? Maybe bring both up at the same time. "I like you! Even though it might sound weird cos I'm with someone. But they are actually ok with me being with someone else, cos we're in sort of an open relationship to have more relationships." Not that i expect you to use that line exactly. I'm just not very good at getting my point across. =P
I have people in that invisible friend zone too. But that is because of poly really. They are happy for me, but could never be with me romantically. I've had both relationships start from friendship and just meeting up at a gig or a pub too. My current partner, we met at a pub gig. =P My mate's band was playing and [even starnger part of the story] OUR ex introduced us. Just clicked from the first moment. =] Poly didn't come up for a while after that. But I think she'd had time to get used to me and basically said, "I love you for who you are and it changes nothing about the way I feel." So bringing poly up and having new relationships can go so many ways. It's just finding the ways which work for that moment/person/way you're feeling...