To aproach the idea of being a third from my perspective I use the concept of the supporting actor. I have always preferred not to lead although in my line of work people are drawn to follow me. I find that I am most comfortable when I am supporting a boss I respect essentially. I like being the right hand man and the temporary lead in some cases if they are not available.
I think this is another reason that I feel so comfortable in our "V" as a "secondary" primary. I respect her husband and his position as her husband.
Every movie needs a supporting actor! I like my role and think it suites me well. Redpepper's husband is the lead man in her life but I will do my best to support him. Maybe I'll even get an Academy Award