Just over a month ago my father died.
20 months ago my husband's heart stopped.
Today, I can't reach him because he's on a fishing trip with his brother - and his brother deliberately took him to a place where there's no cell service. It terrifies me because I don't know that he took his medication. Theoretically between him and his brother, they should be able to remember to make sure he takes his meds, but he forgot last week. Last week he forgot to take the meds that keep him alive and somehow, even though I am fanatical about ensuring he took them somehow we both forgot.
And I don't know if he took them. He probably did. But I don't know.
And I'm scared. And I have no one who truly understands what its like to watch someone you love DIE to talk to.
I'm sad. And I'm scared. And I'm alone.