It's been a few days since I wrote, but I thought I'd give an update!
J is still talking to the one he met on OKC. I've tried to not be too intrusive, as it was bugging him in the past about my incessant questioning, so I've just let him tell me about her on his own. From what I hear, she seems like a lovely woman. A little younger than he is, and she is married..but her husband is in Afghanistan and also has a girlfriend. She has a 4 year old son and has been in an open relationship with her hubby for a couple of years now. Has dated men on and off, but no one serious. She's just looking to get out, have some fun and to get some much needed attention and love. Loves her hubby and has no intention of leaving him.
The only thing that strikes any concern is her feelings towards her hubby's girlfriend. She feels like she gets more attention than she does, which I totally feel for her on and I'm glad she met my bf, who is very affectionate and has enough of that to go around for me and for her. She's asked questions about me and knows that she's not a secret nor her to I.
I feel very good about her overall and told him I think he should definitely go for it. The one thing he really likes about her is that there has been no sexual flirting or sexual convo and no pressure to meet, though they would like to do so soon, and I totally am encouraging him to set a date up. She sounds to be the most promising match so far. I know he will treat her right and give her what she needs. I don't know that I could quite call it "compersion" just yet, but I feel so warm and fuzzy inside knowing that I'm a part of giving her something and someone that she needs in her life.
I went on my first date with a woman I met online, but in meeting, she's totally not the person I thought she was and has a lot of mental issues that she needs to sort through. I'll definitely be a friend to her, but she's too complicated for me. I've got another date set up this weekend with another woman I met online who is local, and I've been talking to for over a month, so I'm excited to see how we click in person.
Him and I discussed everything last night as we haven't really talked "poly" in several days and hearing his reasonings and feelings as to why he wants us to do this really reaffirmed my reasons and feelings too. We just want to meet new people and it's so exciting just getting to know someone else on a different level than we know one another. He said that the intial spark only lasts so long and what we have could never be replaced by anyone else and this isn't about replacing one another, yet enhancing our relationship by rediscovering ourselves and appreciating what we already have more than we have been.
I totally laughed when he said "We still have that spark, and it's been re-ignited by this passion for finding other partners, but what woman is going to be as comfortable smelling my farts like you have for 6 years? That's a comfortableness that I don't think I'll ever find with anyone"
LMAO.. I laughed SO hard at that. Then we just cuddled..made dinner, watched a movie and had a great night.
I'm totally loving what this is doing for us so far
We're both so happy to be meeting other people and a year ago, I never thought I'd be in this mindframe.