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Old 05-08-2009, 07:27 PM
Vintersorg Vintersorg is offline
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 4
Default Probably not the typical question

This really isn't a case of polyamory, but I just really need some advice from somebody who might know what he or she is talking about, and google led me here. Apologies if this isn't a good place to ask.

A little background: I'm a pretty average "1 partner" guy going to college in Eastern WA. I've never really been interested in expanding beyond that in any way (don't see anything wrong with polyamory, but it just isn't for me I guess), but I've come to a pretty interesting situation.

So come this next fall my fiancee and I will be living across the state from each other (she changed schools, and I am currently unable to). Normally I'm not into the whole "more than two people" thing, but she recently told me that she wants me to get a "buddy". Not a real relationship (which is good, since I'm pretty much a one-woman dude, emotionally at least), but just somebody to get off with while we're apart. She also said that she isn't interested in the same (which is good too I guess, since I'm a jealous bastard), but I dunno, you know? While I'm not exactly comfortable with the idea, I'm not incredibly repulsed either, since it'd be very clear that me and my fiancee are the real deal, and that it'd be cut off at her word (which I think is a good thing. I really don't want her to ever be uncomfortable about it). I'd also make it plenty clear to any potential buddy that it's just physical, and find somebody who would accept that.

It just seems kind of weird. Do you know anybody in a similarish situation? I suppose it's pretty different since it will just be about sex (and living in a college town, it shouldn't be too tough to find somebody, guy or gal.), but any similar stories could help. I just want to weigh the pros and cons of this and not jump into anything I'm not fully ready for.

Also, is it terrible that I would not want the same situation over there? I guess I have some jealousy issues, though they bite both ways. I mean, the only reason I've even considered this is because she wants me to. Any advice is very welcome. Even if it's just "Vintersorg, you suck. Don't do this, you are too lame. Also you smell bad and suck at the guitar." it's still something. Thanks in advance.
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