Originally Posted by kingtone
I have offered to take her, hubby and hubby's girlfriend all out to dinner so we can have some time to get to know each other, but her refuses.
Just to clarify, did you mean HE refuses?
If that's the case, have you tried asking him out, just you and him? Having the four of you go out together seems double date-ish ... Him and his gf, you and his wife paired up. That's really going to emphasize that you and she are together. Which is exactly what he seems to not want to think about right now!
If you and he have any shared interests, invite him out for that. Or if you don't, go for drinks. Just two guys, getting to know each other, not talking about his wife or poly.
Once Indigo actually got to know Mr. A, he was able to make bigger steps in his struggles with jealousy. Here was a guy he knew and liked and had a reasonable amount of trust in who he could see liked and respected him, as opposed to some guy with who knows what intentions who thought God knew what of him.