talking about it
After a lot of working up to the topic, I talked to the wife of 35 years and explained the feelings I had. It went pretty good.
Gawd how I care for her and want her to understand!
Trying to understand it my self.
Then I started doing research and was shocked at how poly feelings are just what I was telling her how I felt. Open and honest relationships among and between adults. Sex as "cheating" does not fit.
I'm not having sex with anyone other than with my wife -- and she and I enjoy it at least once almost every day. Nor is there necessarily another particular woman I'm attracted to, although there have been some arousing moments that felt perfectly right.