Nobody "poisoned" me against poly early on. I just didn't yet fully realize what it meant to me. I really only started talking to other people after I started feeling like I couldn't be accepting of poly.
I definitely enjoyed the closeness that was there at the beginning, and the communication. I just didn't like the reason for it. All that went through my head was that it wasn't me making her happy, since all these changes came about when J came into the picture. So there was definitely some bitterness there. I think that was probably the start of the downfall, when it occurred to me that it wasn't me making her happy like that.
But, I've been feeling better this week. Just thinking about poly doesn't make me get all ticked off, so that's a start... I've been trying to be more receptive to what Jen says also, instead of shutting it all out