Originally Posted by kingtone
Redpepper I get from the sounds of it your a seasoned vetarin at poly and I still have things to learn in this situation but what I resent is you addressing me like a child and implying that my life outside of my relationship isn't fulfilling. I never said I wanted to change her existing life, just advice on how to deal with me wanting to be with the woman I love. I don't think that's an unreasonable desire but I am an adult that knows that desires can't always be fully met.
Well I'm sorry you read it that way. I didn't at all think you were a child. Sometimes I write too fast and the way I say things doesn't come across as the way I mean them... writing on the internet is tricky sometimes.
All I am saying is that independence from a poly love is important and part of the turf. If it isn't working for you now that you are settled into a routine, then perhaps poly isn't for you. I dunno.... I can imagine that its hard to be away from her. I know some mono people that have been unable to be with poly people because it can be incredibly lonely when they are not there. My boyfriend prefers tons of alone time and he is mono. It works for him... it was really hard when he didn't live with us though and one of the things that helped was he became involved in my family and hung out with my husband... in time it was obvious that living together was the next step to being closer...