thank you GS that is just the sort of advice I was looking for. As I said I am new to this, but I also knew that there would be bumps and hang ups along the way and I was just wondering how other people managed it. As I said I love her and I want her to be happy and I realise that her husband and her life outside of me makes her happy.
Redpepper I get from the sounds of it your a seasoned vetarin at poly and I still have things to learn in this situation but what I resent is you addressing me like a child and implying that my life outside of my relationship isn't fulfilling. I never said I wanted to change her existing life, just advice on how to deal with me wanting to be with the woman I love. I don't think that's an unreasonable desire but I am an adult that knows that desires can't always be fully met.
Thank you again GS