View Single Post
Old 05-17-2011, 02:49 PM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
But why, RP? She has been patient and kind, they have a friendship, and now have developed physical intimacy between them, which has played a large part in the OP's healing and fear of women. The only issue, it seems, is her husband, and if he is reassured that romance is not happening, why should the OP move on? I don't see it at the point where he should protect himself that way yet.
I see more issues than the husband. I see a man that has not been intimately close with a woman for many years and was in fact terrified of women. This indicates to me that he may transfer all of that lost energy on to her in the form of extreme emotion, connection, lust, bonding and possibly obsession. I think that might become unhealthy in terms of being a realistic possibility and in terms of mental health... not only that I think this woman was not entirely in a position to pull this off and took advantage of the fact that her husband was getting off on the prospect. She used that to get her own way here. There is a significant lack of balance here that is a red flag to me... an unstable and damaged man and a husband with a kink who is completely oblivious to what could happen and a woman that wants to be a rescuer at all cost. I think all have blurry vision and that really concerns me.

That being said, I could be completely wrong and all is fine and dandy and they will all live happily every after once all the drama dies down... Meh, could happen.

I don't entirely agree with myself, but I am offering the alternative perspective. One that I think is worth investigating and being aware of. Relationship possibilities have imploded on here for far less no? This man's major trauma from his past is what had sent up huge red flags....

cb123, please realize that I don't say these things because I don't care and want to flame you. I say them out of concern. Please take it as such. I wish nothing but the best for you, sometimes that means being honest about I feel/think in order to express that. I am someone listening to you from the outside. I am not much of a romantic about these things and while your story was lovely, I don't see it like a fairy tale situation. I see it from a point of realism. I think I am being rational. I guess I'm trying to be practical. I'm not an idealist when it comes to relationships such as what you are addressed with. If you wish to ignore and avoid the possibilities I have presented that is your choice...

good luck.
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote