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Old 05-17-2011, 12:06 PM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 906

Now I've seen some other ppl on this forum talking about NRE. I understand what it is, and there's a lot of it going between her and her new guy, which is hard for me to handle, possibly because she spends most of her time on the road with him. He's a long haul trucker, I maybe see her twice a week now if I'm lucky.

Now what is this BS about? Why did you agree on her driving with him? Did you guys live together? Isn't she employed or studying? Who is paying for her expences?

So first off; our sex life has all but died. She has sex with him - no issues, but her and I? Once in the past 2 months, when it used to be all the time. It is getting better though, but slowly. So is that normal? Does NRE usually kill the sex life of the primary (me)?

For some it does. For others, the NRE seems to spill over to the primary relationship, juicing up the sex life of the primary couple. I can't tell which is more common, but I suspect that your girl isn't really putting effort in to keeping her head above NRE water but is throwing herself headlong into it, primaries be damned.

And the other thing I would like some advice on is how to properly support her. I mean I've gone this far as to agree to it willingly, cause I want her to be herself and be happy. But is there more I could do? Is there something that I shouldn't do or talk about? Thats my biggest worry, that I'm just not being as supportive as I could be, ya know?

The best way to support this relationship is to start supporting yourself. Tell her to calm down and take a break from trucking with him; he can come visit her, or she can go to his place once a week, for sure?

Start dating her again. Ask for some you and her time. Do a tag search on 'foundations', 'boundaries', and 'lessons', to begin with. Ask her to read this forum and/or self-educate on poly from other resources.
Me: bi female in my twenties
Dating: Moonlightrunner
Metamour: Windflower
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