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Old 05-17-2011, 05:21 AM
cb123 cb123 is offline
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Join Date: May 2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
Hullo and welcome, and thank you for sharing your story!



There is nothing laughable about being afraid of something that has caused you life-threatening trauma.



Hmm, this stood out a bit for me. What was her motivation in doing so? I'm a bit wary of people who are attracted to 'damaged goods', because there is a large subset of predators among them. Not saying your girl is one of them, but just curious as to why.



Red flag flying! For me, at least.

It seems that her husband's motivations are not poly- but sex driven. He has a cuckolding fantasy that he gets to fulfill through you, but does not want to be actually threatened by your presence in his wife's life.

Have you asked what their motivations were for opening up? It reads as sex.



Which very well can happen. I want to ask you to protect your heart. It reads to me as that you are not a player but they might be.

Have a talk with them. Explain that you are aware that feelings might develop, and you want them to consider that possibility.



If love between you and her is off the menu, it's not polyamory but more easily described as an open relationship.






Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
Hullo and welcome, and thank you for sharing your story!
Thank you.


Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
Hmm, this stood out a bit for me. What was her motivation in doing so? I'm a bit wary of people who are attracted to 'damaged goods', because there is a large subset of predators among them. Not saying your girl is one of them, but just curious as to why.
Ive known her for over 2 years. She is not any kind of predator.


Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
It seems that her husband's motivations are not poly- but sex driven. He has a cuckolding fantasy that he gets to fulfill through you, but does not want to be actually threatened by your presence in his wife's life.

Have you asked what their motivations were for opening up? It reads as sex.
I admit I don't fully understand his motivations for this.

I do know he gets a lot of satisfaction from knowing she is having sex with me. Perhaps I read too much into it but I dont think so.


Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
Which very well can happen. I want to ask you to protect your heart. It reads to me as that you are not a player but they might be.
This might very well be the case but if it were they would have been living a life just to draw me in for the past two years.

It seems like an awful long time to live like that just so she could pursue a conquest.


Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
Have a talk with them. Explain that you are aware that feelings might develop, and you want them to consider that possibility.
Ive talked to her a lot about this and we are agreed that our relationship is based on something more than casual friendship but not quite based on love.
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