Thank you for sharing this. There is nothing here that I see as laughable, tragic, but not laughable. What a journey!
It seems that the "love" part was left out of your chats before hand. Sex can have that affect on people. I would suggest learning what you know now and move on. It seems to me that you are not in a mental position for more trauma. This woman is not free. she gave you a gift, but that is the end of it. I would think of it that way.
Some women like to rescue and perhaps that is what she was wanting out of this for you and her. Now that that has happened, I think that she should look at her own relationship and you should move on. Even if temporarily. Who knows what the future holds.
Concentrate on yourself and move out of you head into the world of women again. Gain confidence and find someone that you can build more with. Perhaps I don't know what I am talking about and you are willing to put up with and work with the drama that comes with a budding realization of poly, but really, its been many years, why would you wait for that more in someone that might never be available to love.... at least take a chance and look outside your door... start feeling horny and attracted to other women's touches.
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