Iíve made it! I can now look around and see the many things I wasnít sure I could reach. There are still two or three other things that I need to work on but I feel so close to where I wanted to be that itís like I am already there. I seem to feel peaceful but I will admit the feeling makes me look both ways. Things are good and all but what is the catch. Best part is that I made it on my own and the feelings are genuine.
I will admit out loud that I am afraid I will screw it all up. Feeling good is outside my comfort zone. There is no chaos and no guilt. That feels awfully strange and my fear now is that I will do something to go back to the old ways. But I know that if I stay long enough in this state of bliss, emerge myself in the feeling and really believe I earned these new feelings it will be easier and easier to stay and create a new feel good zone.
Everything looks so nice that I want to run in with a spray can. Now, what?