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Old 05-16-2011, 02:38 AM
Minxxa Minxxa is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 495

Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
Yoga, meditation and tantric breathing techniques have helped me a LOT. And it's true; it very much helps to realize that whenever your mind is going in circles and your heart's racing, it's not that something's actually wrong - it's just your nervous system jumping the gun for no reason and having hard time to exit the 'fight or flight' stage.

Also, something that works for dogs and humans alike; since the symphatetic nervous system effectively shuts down all digestion, eating calms you down, because it forces the parasymphatetic system to activate and work as a balancing force. That's why when I'm having an attack, I eat less and less, and sadly also why so many people are addicted to 'comfort eating'. But maybe having a banana or an apple to munch on might offer a quick relief?
I definitely will be working on ways to control my anxiety. Right now, when I get that way regarding hubs, I'm thinking about all of the ways he loves me and I love him, and the times we've shared and things we've talked about. It's a good, grounding reminder of how much we have.

I was feeling a bit down on Saturday. Some of it was hormonal (period just starting!), and times like that I'm just a little more suceptible to my own wierd feelings. Anyway I was talking to hubs and we were talking about the new girl he has been talking to, and what possibilities are there. I was feeling a bit envious, not jealous, because he always seems to have somebody who is interested in him-- and I just don't get a whole lot of that.

After I stopped feeling sorry for myself, I did some thinking. I also spent the afternoon with some old friends who made me feel a lot better about myself, which helped. And I got my pics from my photographer friend that allowed me to see that I"m not so bad looking! But mostly I realized that I haven't been actively working at meeting people. Not just dating type people, but PEOPLE. I work early in the a.m. and I"ve been dragging my arse to work with no makeup, glasses on, hair in a ponytail or bun and just not really caring. Some of that is leftover from when I was so exhausted, I just gave up on that stuff because it took too much work, and although I dress up to go out or with friends, I never really picked it back up. And the thing is, I FEEL so much better about myself when I just spend a little tiny bit of time on me. So I'm going to work on presenting my best self for a while, if nothing else so that I feel better about ME.

And secondly, I've had an OKCupid account for a few months, but haven't really made much of an effort. So today I went through the messages I had and found a few that were actually a bit interesting. I very passively added them to my favorites (except one who sent an email message, which I answered), but will think about making a more concerted effort. I mean I can't just sit around waiting for someone to find me. LOL, especially when I hardly ever go out. Silly, really.

Those two things really helped me feel more in tune to the possibilities.

I was always super introverted when I was younger, and I can really pull myself into a ball and tuck in when I'm uncomfortable. So it's time to suck it up and be a more open person. Hubs is super outgoing and flirty and charming, so it just oozes off of him wherever he is. I love that about him, though and wouldn't change a thing. In many ways we complement each other.

We also talked about boundaries and got that conversation started. I told him it made me feel less of myself that I required rules on everything (which I know is dumb, but it's my feeling nevertheles), and he told me that I shouldn't feel that way. That he needs those boundaries and those strings to keep him from flying away. That he could still be himself, and I allowed that in him, but by having some rules it helped him be the person he is, instead of the person he "could"" be if he let everything go. Interesting, and made me feel good about us, and better about all of the negotiating and talking and such.

So an interesting weekend for sure!
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