Originally Posted by Senga
No, our aim was not for the men to have sex, it was for them to develop a brother-like friendship based on trust. To me, the term "involved" does not require sex, just a relationship. Or at the very least, mutual respect and cooperation with scheduling.
If you were to tell me I'm involved with my male friends, I'd likely ask you if you hear the stuff falling our your mouth, as that would be obviously false. It wouldn't matter in the slightest if we were dating the same woman--we wouldn't be "involved" unless we had a romance going on (whether it involved sex or not). Prima facie, that statement is nonsensical. It's the same as with my female friends--we're not "involved" unless we have a romance of some sort. Friends are friends and being involved requires romance.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.
While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.