Originally Posted by Minxxa
Interestingly, after doing some research on anxiety-- the obsessive thinking about things, or "ruminating" is something I've done all of my life about everything. So it's not really specific to my husband and sex-- I do it about random conversations, people screwing up my bills, etc. LOL... that helps, and doesn't at the same time!! So basically it's not an issue with polyamory-- it's an issue everything. So we're going to work on methods of getting through that. The good part is it should help in ALL aspects of my life, not just my relationship.
I found this interesting because I do this, too, about way too many things in my life. Besides the sex thing, I replay previous conversations with people in my head and wonder if I'm a person who doesn't deserve her job. I try to be friendly, perky, and professionally proper as much as possible (I make a constant effort - it's exhausting but necessary in my line of work - super professional type of work), but sometimes I relax and second guess myself afterwards. Those insecurities surface because my dad raised me to believe I was never good enough. It's a lifelong battle. I think it has led to part of that divide in my marriage, too, because he isn't like that at all. Whenever he threatens to leave me, it's because I'm obsessing about the littlest things. I don't get anxiety anymore like it sounds like you do, but it still affects how I think and act at work and at home. Like I stated in another thread, I hope my visiting the sex therapist will address this, too.