Originally Posted by ourquad
I can't tell you how true this is. In the beginning most of us wanted to move in together as soon as we could. Circumstances didn't permit and thankfully, not all four of us were ready at the same time. Now, I see a different dynamic. I would like for us to live closer. 2 hours apart can be difficult. I can even see us living next door to each other.
Actually, that is a goal of mine. I do not think that we could live as peacefully under one roof. It would have to be a special house for that. To allow space and time away from the others. Living separately, next door, would give us each our space, a get away place and still be able to see each other in varying forms of configurations.
Hell, I'd be ok with living an hour apart I think. 2 hours makes it difficult to find times to see each other.
But I am thankful we didn't try to make a move in the beginning.
We have discussed moving closer and now it's happened!
We live 10 minutes away from each other and Mono's new place feels more and more like my second home (even though it looks like an Ikea showroom bachelor pad
He has included me in many decisions and is patient while I move things around and push him to add some details, such as plants and pictures on the wall.... just to balance out the exercise equipment... heh
(oh I am in so much trouble....lol)
I wish it were five weeks ago when we were all confident and radiant with love for one another, husband included. I try and remember what it felt like to have our private life private from my family. We were doing so well, now we feel depleted and exhausted, not to mention battered and uncertain.... not because we think poly is wrong as a result of others views, but because of the effect it has had that others do....
This is something else to consider when moving in together is how "out" you are.... because I'm telling you, people can get gangs together over their twisted words and distorted truths about what goes on in your life. If Mono had of moved in with us I wonder if my mother would have the cops at the door accusing him of being a predator... she certainly has done her darnedest to convince just about everyone else...
Tomorrow I go right from dropping my boy off at my husbands Mum's house and straight to Mono's for some long overdue long time lovin' (it has even put pressure on us to not see each other as much) a rarity in our world... we will rise above the shit bestowed on all of us and come out strong I think. We would struggle a lot longer if we all lived together as this kind of much needed private time would just never occur if we lived together.