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Old 10-02-2009, 04:12 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

One reason I like terms is that it kind of establishes some guidelines and perspectives for others experiencing and going through similar situations. I don't always think it's necessary to keep terms after relationships are established, but in the light of explaining to new people or asking for help from others, they can be helpful....

HML, violet and Anne-I'm not sure why you are calling your relationship a triad when it seems it's a "V?"

It seems that you have a "V" relationship which means that Anne is not a "unicorn." Which means that she is different from Ceoli.... I might be wrong on this, but I haven't heard you say anything about your love for her in terms of romantic love and connection....

In the "V" I am in my primaries love each other very much and we sometimes have engaged in sexual situations together. Their love is not romantic however but that of friends and comrades together in our poly situation. They spend time together as friends and discuss issues that come up without my being there. It is important that they do so or this would never work. We also spend a lot of time socializing together and always refer to all three of us when talking to our friends about invites to events etc.

The idea of a "third" in terms of a "V" is very different than in a triad it seems. It seems to denote that the members can go about having other relationships if they want to.... something different than a closed triad that is polyfi. I'm not sure why that is, it just seems to occur...

Perhaps if you were to clarify what each other means to each other then the division of where everyone stands would be clearer. Perhaps some terms would be useful to start out with and then promptly lose when it feels right to do so...
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