I guess I'm having a little trouble seeing the problem at this point in the process. From what it sounds like, this wasn't just some casual hook up with a stranger, these were people she knew. You guys haven't even met and are turned off because she's not treating this like a "relationship". Why should she put her life on hold for people she hasn't even met yet? You never know, after getting to know each other a little better and meet IRL a few times, things may be different.
That you are getting a vibe/feeling/whatever that isn't meshing with where you think you want to go, that part I get.