View Single Post
Old 05-12-2011, 05:14 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,061

Originally Posted by Morningglory629 View Post
Nycindie- the end of June is a timeline KT and 2Rings set for themselves for decisions to be made on whether or not they stay together. I don't know how or why anyone would separate indefinitely.
Well, I just meant that if it were me, I'd say, I'll give you the time you need until things are better/resolved/healed, etc. Personally, I don't think I could put a time frame on it - what if they haven't reached a decision by the end of June? Emotions and processes have their own paths and don't always fit into a pre-ordained schedule.

I do agree with NK, also. Your stepping out of the picture to give them room to strengthen and heal their marriage (in whatever form that takes) seems lo-o-ong overdue. I also don't mean to sound judgmental, but it's just an observation made from reading all your stories.

This is one reason why I am very cautious about getting involved with a man who is married, even if he is firmly and staunchly poly. No matter how much I loved someone, if I were a secondary to a man whose marriage was falling apart, I couldn't stand knowing that my presence in his life was playing a part in that - and especially in the wife's pain. Even if he insisted, or she insisted, that I not step back, I couldn't do it. I could never align myself with the stance of "this is what we want, we love each other, so deal with it!" and would always feel an ethical obligation to the married couple that they put their relationship first.

So, um, yeah, I also respectfully say... "it's about time!" and commend you for doing so.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 05-12-2011 at 05:17 PM.
Reply With Quote