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Old 05-12-2011, 04:19 AM
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Senga Senga is offline
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Buffalo NY, willing to relocate
Posts: 99

Um, I am (fem part of) a MF couple who would want to date another couple. I am open to other ideas & I will not let my expectations get in the way of reality & what really ends up happening as long as it is making me happy.

I just want to say that theoretically it would work nicely for us. Sexually, (im bisexual). Emotionally, we do want to extend the commitment of our "primary" relationship to form a stable situation to form a family. We want to be involved, not separated with others. I realize that is a little different than some people's approach which is fine with me; to each his own & each their own choice.

To me, dating another couple would be totally different than swinging. I would be dating & having a relationship with up to three people, not just casual sex. I know that everyone has some issues, but we are looking for a couple that is similar to us, stable, loving, open-minded & fun. I think the jealousy & insecurity issues can crop up with anyone, & that is not a "couples" issue, its a personal issue for everyone to deal with on some level.

I do think that setting up as stable a structure as possible is a good idea. Any relationship such as a couple, triad, quad, (or any dynamic where all the people are interacting with the others ) has much more potential structure to encourage stability than a V, or N dynamic where there is room for misunderstanding, miscommunication, third wheel, left out of the loop, considered secondary not primary etc etc...

That being said, I agree that humans can't be turned into math problems, nor can it be said that there are not some very stable V & N relationships. In my opinion those relationships require respect for & from every individual involved as well as for the multiple relationships involved as well. In a quad dynamic, that respect for the individual as well as the couples relationships are (hopefully) granted, leaving less to be figured out. Unfortunately, we haven't found what we are looking for exactly, but figuring out what would work best for us, helps us know what things we are definitely looking for, and which things Could be negotiated or compromised on to make everyone involved happy/content/needs met. Thats my two cents, sorry to be devils advocate
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