Me: I talked to my boss and she said that if I wanted to save up comp time and then, say, take every Friday off for a few months, that would be fine. I was thinking I could help out with the baby after you have to go back to work.
Gia: Great, I'm sure that'll be very welcome!
Me: [laughs] Well if you're sure then I guess it will be, since you're kind of in charge of that.
Gia: Honestly, you probably have a clearer picture of what the future might be like right now than I do, since you're not completely clouded by hormones.
So, that was that conversation. She expressed some surprise that I thought I'd be up for that much poopy, needy baby. I said that I wouldn't have offered if I weren't serious. I said I didn't think I had the energy or time for something that would deserve the term "co-parenting", but that what she and Eric were doing was important to me and I wanted to play a role.
It wasn't the enthusiastic, touching embrace of my offer that I might have dreamed of, but it could have gone worse. I'm thinking about offering financial assistance too, since some unexpected medical bills have put them in a difficult place.
I think I need to talk to Eric about it too, at some point. After all, it's his child too. I have this fear that I'm going to offer too much and they're going to get freaked out and pull back, or think that I'm infringing on their whole parent thing.
Ohhhh, fearfearfears, I wish you would just shut up. I want to be strong enough not to need to ask for reassurance. I've been feeling more insecure than I'm used too lately, and it's so annoying.