I agree with BU on this. Meet her as soon as you can. It sounds like you are creating something out of nothing and the only easy to nip that in the bud is to do something about it. Maybe you could write a list of concerns and email them to her ahead of time, or keep it as a reference for when you meet. If you were my possible metamour I would be greatly endeared to you for how you feel.
Are you kidding?! I want my PN to find a woman that is as considerate as you are! Its much easier for me to give when someone is being considerate. I have been known to set dates up for PN with his past boyfriend because I wanted him to go out and have fun; enjoy himself! It means I get to do my thing too that way.
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM