I like to think about things a few days before I answer...
redpepper: "It sounds like the boundaries you have with them are not firm and need some clarification."
Originally, I was told my boundries and rules were too restrictive. So I relaxed them. That was my mistake.
And I did say it was okay for them to play with this specific couple. Since it was swinging they had to inform me and keep me in the loop. I learned from them they had thought of it as "sexy fun." I told them swinging was swinging.
So we will work on the boundries again, and if they think me too restrictive, they can take their leave, or they can use notecards to keep track.
Ivy: she is free to pursue whomever and whenever. Or she was. I put a halt to all swings and plays until this mess settled.
nycindie: she thinks of it as "MY husband and ME" and "My husband and her." I thought of it as a V. And so did he.