Glad I foud this thread, it's giving me a new direction to think.
Violet and I moved in almost immediately upon dating seriously, really unintentionally but nevertheless. There was adjustment, but we're better for it and can't imagine moving apart.
The situation with Anne has all three of us talking about moving into a bigger place together as soon as feasible. I'm wondering if we should, mayb people here can help us think this thorugh in this thread?
Violet has seperation anxiety. Doesn't matter if I'm with Anne or with my business partner or other friends - if I'm gone at bedtime, she starts to get a little crazy.
Added to that, Anne feels "left out" or less than equal because of the time Violet and I spend together by default; add to that Violet freaking out when I try to spend the night at Anne's, and one can see where she sometimes feels a little miffed.
This veyr subject - the time sharing, more than the moving in together, was brought up last night. The other night, I spent time with Anne and while I didn't spend the night, I was there past Violet falling asleep. And there was no drama at all. Anne and I had a beautiful time together withou interruption, and I came home to a peacefully sleeping Violet who was shamelessly happy about Anne and I having a great night, and we snugled up and had a good night's sleep. I awoke the happiest I've ever been, and Violet even woke up happy (and she is bar none the worst morning person ever born).
So what was different about that night? Violet proposed it was the quality time all three of us spent together that evening. Previous good nights/bad nights were examined, and this wasa common theme - when we spent time together, Anne and I could have time together without Violet having a hard time (Violet/Anne time isn't discussed here because it's a non-issue, I openly wish they'd spend more time together and have no issues at all with it when they do).
This led to an agreement that we would try to meet up all three of us for at least a few minutes each day - preferably for dinner or something but at least a few minutes of "catch up" time - regardless of who was spending time with who or even if all three of us were going to be together all night. Anne agreed this would help her not feel bad about taking me from Violet, and Vi agreed this would greatly reduce her anxiety when I was gone.
Which of course had all three of us lamenting the seperate apartments and wanting to hurry the move in together timeframe. Which seemed like a great idea at the time...