Confused, New, Rambling, advice?
Hi all I am not sure what I am doing writing on this forum but here I am writing so lets see what happens
First off I am very much a mono , who is very muchly in love with a poly
We have been talking for almost a year but in the last couple of months things have became VERY much more serious. and being the only mono here I am in need of some major advice .
Him and his wife have been living this lifestyle for a lil over 8 years so they are very much okay with it and it doesnt seem odd to them at all . Which is wonderful for them but I kinda am well for lack of better words lost . They live together with her live in boyfriend also . which is okay for all of them who are constantly surrounded by each other and very close . But for me its kinda intimdating almost . I mean I rushed into meeting his wife and there children becuase they meant so much to him that I Just wanted to make him happy by meeting them . I was very glad I did after I did it but I realized at that very moment how very hard this may actually be . His wife is nothing like me she is very muchly open with everything her feeling her thoughts sometimes even things that dont need to be spoken about . I mean I appreciate the fact that she pretty much has opened up her life to someone she barley knows becuase she can see he loves me ,but im also scared shitless . There perfect picture is someday us all living under one roof being a big happy co exsisting family . I dont know if im too mono but I dont really think I could ever do that . I mean its hard for me to watch him show her affection or talk about loving her which I assume I will get use to and its just my human behavior getting the best of me. Because in my head I know he loves her and his kids and I NEVER wanna come between them .. I guess I just am wondering is it selfish to want part of us to just be me and him I dont need everyone knowing everything about me or us . I mean I can hang out with all of them and we all talk but is there a point where I signed away all my privacy?? Is dating him mean I have to date them too ? I know emotions are gunna get way worse before they get better But I try to not get jealous that they are all constantly together and all happy and im just chillin alone doing whatever I know its new and gunna take some work but I need some direction .. I tried talking to my friends and all I learned was that people cant grasp things they dont understand ..