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Old 10-02-2009, 01:20 AM
violet violet is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Nevada
Posts: 93
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceoli View Post
Have you figured out exactly what "equality" is in your relationship?




(and SG-AB-AL are Sunshinegirl, Aussiebloke and Aussielover. AL just moved from Canada to Australia to be in a triad with SG and AB)
I'm not sure what HMA will have to say about this one, but personally, I don't think I've figured it out at all. With some of the issues raised in my head - which don't at ALL negate my desire to be or my belief in Poly - leads me to really struggle with whether I WANT her as an equal or not. Whether that's an "equal YET", or an "equal EVER", I don't know. Lots to figure out.

There's a lot of issues in my own head to work around. It's tough - I feel like HMA and Anne go running in the direction I said I was comfortable with, only to get tripped by a diamond filament invisible wire I didn't even know was there! I'm as shocked by it as they are! And when I go to start cutting at the filament, it's fucking diamond. And DAMN hard to get through. I'm having enough trouble cutting it without pissing off/upsetting HMA and Anne. They're both pissed that this line I said wasn't there IS there, and they're hurt by it.

It's tough when I can't see the invisible trip wires I strung. Lots of hurt and anxiety all around. Don't get me wrong - I'm still wanting the relationship. But that equality wire is one that we haven't all the way tripped over yet, and I'm really scared to get there. ANYWAY. Didn't mean to hijack your thread.

</rant>
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