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Old 05-11-2011, 10:36 AM
Tosca Tosca is offline
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Helsinki, Finland
Posts: 6
Default The start for me

Hello,

I have decided to journal my forray into Poly and an open relationship. I have'nt had many relationships, actually I have only had 2 genuine relationships. My first girlfriend and my now wife. I have'nt had many more sexual encounters either.

I am 23 and I sometimes look at my life like 'how the hell did I end up here!?' I met my wife in the UK where I am from. She is Finnish, we moved here about 2 years ago (Finland). We have always had a great relationship, but recently things got horribly static. We ran a business together, and with me not coping so well in a new country and the business failing, we came to a point where our relationship was at tipping point. She left for about 3 weeks. That was a hard time, neither of us really knew what was going on. I don't know where it came from, but I suggested talking about an open relationship. I think I rose the issue because my wife, I'll call her S, has had a much more active life with relationships, and I know she is not happy in one place for too long. I know I brought it up because I felt I would lose her if something didnt change.

I have never been very exploratory, but since looking into open relationships and poly, I am amazed at the things I've never even bothered to think about before.

We havent actually consumated an open relationship yet, but the sheer fact that its now what we're experimenting with has not only revived our relationship, but revived me!

I have never met a girl through going out to bars, and the first night I went out with this in mind, I met someone who I am meeting with this evening. I'm excited by this, I'm not thinking much will come from this date, but the action alone is envigorating.

Me and S have always been able to talk with each other, but we had stopped really communicating. It's amazing to speak with her about this, discuss our feelings and discover new things about ourselves together. This is (and it hasnt even really started yet) by far the most liberating experience of my life to date. I have been through life changing experiences before, addiction, depression. All have taught me a lot about myself and I have benefited a lot by dealing with them. The difference with this is, it's so much fun!

I am loveing going through this site, reading all the stories, problems and successes. It's very comforting to see that human emotions are relatively universal, and that no matter what, chances are someone has gone through the same hurdles. I just can't wait to tackle a few of my own. I'm even looking forward to the difficult times, times where I might really struggle. Is that a little wierd?

Perhaps I have writen enough for a first post. I'll write something after 'now I suddenly realise' my first proper date ever! Ha, I'm married and I have never been on a date in the conventional sense.

I love this site and everyone who is writing on here. A big hello to everyone!
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