Originally Posted by Erin
It's been interesting reading this thread... the military... your unintentional obsessions with his being satisfied by other women... your struggle to manage your time the best way you know how... your interest in psychology... and especially the conference on sex therapy. Can you share more about it? I'm going to attend my first sex therapy session on the 17th this month to figure out what's right (and wrong) with me, and she specializes in alternative sex situations. I find the whole thing fascinating.
Interestingly, after doing some research on anxiety-- the obsessive thinking about things, or "ruminating" is something I've done all of my life about everything. So it's not really specific to my husband and sex-- I do it about random conversations, people screwing up my bills, etc. LOL... that helps, and doesn't at the same time!! So basically it's not an issue with polyamory-- it's an issue everything. So we're going to work on methods of getting through that. The good part is it should help in ALL aspects of my life, not just my relationship.
There are all types of sex therapists-- but most of them (the good ones) are going to take all of your life into consideration, depending upon the issue you present with. For example, with women who have difficulty with orgasms, this can be physiological, psychological, emotional, connected with their past or a combination of it all. It's all interconnected. If you have a partner and you've had years of distance and lack of communication and loss of respect-- your sex life will suffer as well. You can't look at it in a vacuum, not if you really want to improve things.
Since I can't speak to your particular situation I will only say make sure you and your counselor click. That is really the most important thing in any counseling relationship. Good luck!