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Old 10-01-2009, 08:25 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
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Question for you all:

So when you feel jealous-what do you do with/about it?

For example, if you feel jealous about your primary holding hands with their secondary-what do you do? Whose responsibility is this?

I have this ... conflict. Because in my opinion if a person feels jealous-it is their own emotion. I rarely feel jealous -rarely. But on the occassions do-I start by talking to MYSELF about it. Asking myself WHAT I am feeling that way about, WHY that bothers me, what about the behavior, action, look or whatever is threatening to me and in what way. I have never gotten to a point where I found that my jealousy was in ANY WAY caused by a legitimate reason that the other person was in any way responsible for.

Recently my secondary (I hate these terms, but it's easier to explain using them when dealing with people who don't know me) told me I wasn't his type. I was jealous and upset at first. But then I was like-ok so what? He's OBVIOUSLY attracted to me, OBVIOUSLY madly in love with me and OBVIOUSLY devoted not only to me but to my husband and children as well. So why does it matter to me that I am not his type? Well ultimately-it doesn't. In fact it's kind of an ego trip once I thought it through because that means I rated above all those women who ARE his type.


On the other hand, my primary gets jealous anytime he thinks about the possibility of me having sex with someone else, or kissing them, or holding hands or going on vacation (those are all specific examples he's listed) or going to dinner, or going to the movies........
And he see's it as "these actions cause my jealousy so they should not be done when I will have to deal with them".

SO-what do YOU all do with/for dealing with your jealousy and what is your take on it?
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