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Old 10-01-2009, 08:23 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Originally Posted by live4themusic View Post

So I'm hoping I can offer the following concession: I would be willing to get back with Mary in for all intensive purposes a monogamous relationship with a couple caveats: if either of us meet someone we believe we would both be capable of experiencing love with we discuss the interest amongst ourselves first. After both of us have come into contact with the person of interest we could consider dating them individually or as a couple if we are both interested in that person. Otherwise, neither of us will act on any interest in anyone else outside the relationship at any point.

Does this sound reasonable? Does this sound like the kind of thing a primarily monogamous person would be capable of? Obviously I will have to ask her this, but it seems to me that it's a fair agreement on my part because if she is not also interested in whoever I'm interested, all she has to do is tell me and I won't pursue them.
This is a fair agreement. But it may be one that will leave a whole bag on "what ifs and insecurities". New friendships may cause stress and doubt, fear and anxiety.

The key here is if she is wired monogamously to her very core, she probably won't be interested in anyone you are. Or she will be monogamously interested in them. If you're mono, you feel that attraction to one person at a time! Connections break when new ones form. That's just our nature.

Monogamous relationships generally don't have "open relationship" caveats. It's a play on words that says I will be mono with you until I find someone we both like. That's really just hibernating poly

So in asking if this is a fair agreement for a mono primary..sure if she is honest in her response and acceptance of the "caveats".
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