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Old 10-01-2009, 08:20 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: new england
Posts: 3,217

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
That's true-in all walks of life there are people looking for excuses for bad behavior. At the same time-someone who is truly ADD (which can only be identified by a professional with experience) has major differences in how their brain operates and they CAN NOT do certain things the way average normal people do. So getting diagnosed so that they can learn HOW they CAN do it is critical.

It would be sad for such an openminded, caring, responsible women to have her relationship fall apart because her husband had a medical issue that COULD resolve their problems (if that is what it is).

NOW-that doens't mean he WILL do anything about it-but wouldn't more info be better than less?
I agree with all that. I try to find pitfalls in scenarios so that contingencies might be devised.

It all comes down to the fact that one person cannot change another person. They can support, encourage, threaten, forgive, and understand, but if the husband's behaviour patterns are working for him, he prob'ly won't change until and unless they stop generating the results he wants.

The whole thing with the "Yes or no" bugs me because if the OP says "Yes you can see her" he will take that as carte-blanche to do whatever, whenever, and if she says "No" then he can be all "unhappy" and blame it on his wife: "I'm unhappy FOR YOU honey, I'm doing what YOU WANTED".

Dear Moonandstars - I apologize for speaking of you in the 3rd person as if you're not in the room.
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