Originally Posted by Eloise
Here is an interesting development, maybe, in our talks the three of us have had.
When he said, "Do you want to ask me something you haven't before?" it was a major hint he hadn't said something. So I said, "What were you thinking that night you chose to play, and didn't even tell me, and even denied it was swinging, preferring to call it 'sexy fun between friends,' and described how she made you feel wanted when I had neglected you for weeks due to school? what were you thinking when it was happening?" And he said I didn't neglect him and he was wrong in not realizing it all fell under the same label of swinging.
and herein I am not sure. he said he was thinking, "I don't want to do anything," when play started, but he didn't want to ruin the fun his wife was having. so he barely participated before sending the other woman back.
he said he wished desperately I was there, so he simply thought a little play would be harmless. but he found out, in his bid to make everyone in his immediate company happy that night (by not being the cold shower) he lost the trust of someone who wasn't even there.
And his wife had said I didn't even count, when it was the two of them alone. something I wish I had been made aware of, since I had counted her insecurities even when she wasn't present.
and I suppose it's fair to say I verbally pounded her for her selfishness when she expressed a desire to continue swinging, despite the fact things aren't settled. So there is a halt to all swinging because it has fallen to me to make the rules, to ask the difficult questions, and ultimately [determine] if this will work out.
Hey Eloise, I just took the liberty of reformatting your post so I can read it more easily. Sorry you 3 are still struggling with combining swinging with your poly-triad.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. --Shaw
me: Mags, female, pansexual, poly, 59, loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, poly, 37
Last edited by Magdlyn; 05-09-2011 at 02:02 PM.