Here is an interesting development
in our talks
the three of us have had.
when he said "do you want to ask me something
you haven't before"
it was a major hint
he hadn't said something
and so I said "what were you thinking
and chose to play
and didn't even tell me
and even denied it was swinging
preferring to call it "sexy fun between friends"
and described how she made you feel wanted
when I had neglected you for weeks
due to school...
what were you thinking when it was happening?
And he said I didn't neglect him
and he was wrong in not realizing it all fell under the same label of swinging
I am not sure
he said he was thinking "I don't want to do anything"
when play started
but he didn't want to ruin the fun
his wife was having
so he barely participated
before sending the other woman back
and he said he wished desperately I was there
so he simply thought a little play would be harmless
and he found out
in his bid to make everyone in his immediate company happy that night
by not being the cold shower
he lost the trust of someone who wasn't even there
And his wife
had said I didn't even count
when it was the two of them alone
something I wish I had been made aware of
since I had counted her insecurities
even when she wasn't present
and I suppose it's fair to say
I verbally pounded her for her selfishness
when she expressed a desire
to continue swinging
despite the fact things aren't settled.
So there is a halt to all swinging
because it has fallen to me
to make the rules
to ask the difficult questions
and ultimately if this will work out